Motivation:
Camp Experiences
Learning Objectives:
Level 3
- Show a developing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.
- Select, form, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
- Use language features appropriately, showing a developing understanding of their effects.
- Organise texts, using a range of appropriate structures.
Level 4
- Show an increasing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.
- Select, develop, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
- Use a range of language features appropriately, showing an increasing understanding of their effects.
- Organise texts. Using a range of appropriate structures.
Learning goals:
- To hook the reader in with an interesting beginning
- A variety of sentence starters
- A variety of sentence lengths
- Edit and rework
- Effective peer checking and feedback
Camp
Fastly raising to level 3 on the giant swing I start to regret to do it. I was starting to get
strangled by the rope. I was nervous and scared, I didn’t want to do it. Click, I dropped from
the cloudy sky as I felt the wind blowing past my face. I fell fast past level 2 and 1 and then
I swang back and down back and forth until I get stopped. I got put on the ladder and he said
do you want to do it again I said yes. I start raising again to level 3. I rais faster then last time.
I reach the top of the giant swing with a fast stop. I hear rope on hock 321. I dropped extremely
fast. My heart was pumping and my hands were shivering. Whish, I go down as fast as a bird
scoping down for food. I thought the rope was going to snap but it didn’t.I reached the bottom
of the swing in a few seconds and then I was fine. I stepped onto the ladder and I got unhooked
from the harness. I jump down the ladder and i feel amazing. After all it wasn’t that scary and I
want to do it again next year if they have a giant swing.
strangled by the rope. I was nervous and scared, I didn’t want to do it. Click, I dropped from
the cloudy sky as I felt the wind blowing past my face. I fell fast past level 2 and 1 and then
I swang back and down back and forth until I get stopped. I got put on the ladder and he said
do you want to do it again I said yes. I start raising again to level 3. I rais faster then last time.
I reach the top of the giant swing with a fast stop. I hear rope on hock 321. I dropped extremely
fast. My heart was pumping and my hands were shivering. Whish, I go down as fast as a bird
scoping down for food. I thought the rope was going to snap but it didn’t.I reached the bottom
of the swing in a few seconds and then I was fine. I stepped onto the ladder and I got unhooked
from the harness. I jump down the ladder and i feel amazing. After all it wasn’t that scary and I
want to do it again next year if they have a giant swing.
did a lot of editing in my writing. The other 1 was use different sentence types which I think I did
because some were long and some were small. The other 1 was listen to your feedback and I did
not get any
Teacher Comment: Liam, I like the way your writing use a variety of sentence types and I
know you recrafted this writing to improve it. Your next step is to listen to feedback from
others on your writing to improve.
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